Chronicles of an Urban...

My One Night Stand With Trey Songz....

2009-08-28T15:40:00.000-07:00

This past Tuesday I went to the Highline Ballroom to see Trey Songz perform for his album release concert. Although I've never bought one of his cd's for the first time I was definitely paying attention to him. I'd gotten a hold of his free mixtape "Anticipation" some time ago and loved every minute of it. If you haven't heard yourself it's definitely worth a quick search on the internet to find the free download.

I've never been to the Highline which is located downtown on 16th Street. It sits, awkwardly, next to a Western Beef grocery store. The venue is small but honestly there isn't a bad seat in the house which worked out well for me since I arrived much later than I'd initially planned and the line was wrapped around the corner by the time I did show. Of course, by then, it was virtually impossible to get to the front of the stage. DJ Self dj'd the event and if his set was any indication of what the rest of the show would be like I figured I was in for a big treat. Unfortunately, I was wrong. But first something else about DJ Self - I'd definitely go to any party where he's spinning. He's funny, entertaining and like I said he can put a set together that keeps the dancefloor packed, but I digress. .

Now back to Trey... I think I should, at least, preface all of what I'm about to say with "I'm certain that every thing was not 100% in his hands. Therefore, adequate blame must also be placed on the likes of his band, manager and the sound egineer who occupied the booth." I say this because DJ Self's set sounded perfect - Trey's, not so much. Here I was thinking I was about to hear and see the mastermind behind "Anticipation", someone who I felt had the sustinct possibility of bringing r&b/soul music back to where it belongs - sure underneath all soul songs are about love and sex generally speaking but the greats like Teddy Pendergrass, Marvin Gaye and Luther sing it with such tenderness and clever yet simple word play that it lasts through time. And I thought I'd found my guy...you can only imagine how suprised I was when a total stranger showed up in his place.

When he first hit the stage I could tell immediately that something was wrong with the sound...it seemed somehow muffled and muted, even with the band playing live fifteen feet in front of me. Didn't they have a sound check? Couldn't they hear it too? If they did they kept right on playing, pretending everything was fine. Trey Songz comes out looking cute enough. Donned in mostly black (slacks, shirt and jacket) he immediately goes into the intro to one of his songs but its all off. The tone, the band playing under water,his mic being too low...nothing meshed. I immediately wished he had back up singers. Now mind you the ladies up front are still screaming there heads off. I see a couple of people looking round like WTF but for the most part the audience was in it with him.

From every obviously contrived hand rubbing his jaw and chest to the even more comspicuous shouting of "It's getting hot in here!" while unbuttoning his shirt, **insert screams**, Yes they were feeding right into it - screaming louder than the muffled band at times. I wound up being totally distracted from Trey when the drummer and piano guy finally figured out how bad things were and trying, witout success, to straiten it out. If it weren't for the two shots of Patron and the Carona I had I might've gave up halfway through the set and left but I braved it out for the conclusion. I mean I did pay $30 bucks for this. Around this time I realized that Mary J Blige is sitting in the balcony watching as well. Yall know how Mary do. Sitting all cool behind dark shades. She wasn't dancing though. Not at all from what I saw.

Anyways, he did sing a wide selection of songs. He did a couple old joints I'd never heard of before getting into his older radio hits and of course you can't help but sing along at times. You cant deny it, he does have some hot joints under his belt. He also did some songs off the new album "Ready" and his mixtape "Anticipation". In the end I just couldn't get pass the horrible sound system and the wack, over exaggerated show that Trey put on. I felt like his heart wasn't in it. He looked like he'd done and said those exact same things at every show since he started this tour. He seemed to be simply going through the motions, not really connecting to the us, the audience, at all.

I laughed out loud when towards the very end, in true cheesey fashion, Trey balls up his sweat soaked long sleeve button-down and holds it high into the air. The sweaty ladies go wild!! Some are already jumping as if that'll give them a head start. "Whoever gets this has to sleep in this tonight!" he says, "So who wants it?!" Now, is it me or is that just nasty! I'm sorry but that's some "repugnant sh*t?" (c) Ordell Robbie - Jackie Brown.

Exuse me. Your telling me that you want me to put your sweaty rags on my freshly showered body and then lay in my clean and comfortable bed...and sleep....really? I mean who comes up with this stuff?! It was too much. Yet I couldn't turn away until I watched him toss it into the audience where, I'm sure, it was litterally ripped to shreads. Or so I presume....I honestly didn't stay long enough to witness the aftermath. I didn't have the heart. I didn't buy the cd either. They were selling them in the lobby for $15 when they know perfectly well you can get them for $9.99 at Bestbuy. *smh*

I left through the exit doors feeling cheated. All I wanted was to see the sexy, confident, R&B ladies man with so much potential that I'd imagined "Trey Songz" to be when in actuality he simply tried his best to pretend to be. The point is that I was highly dissapointed in an artist that I believe has extraodinary capabilities to be so much more. Please get your act together baby bro and tighten up your team, your only as good as those who surround you.

And My Weekend Begins...

2009-08-22T12:12:00.000-07:00

This weekend started with the BET's Rising Icons taping with Ryan Leslie at the CBS Studios in the city. I was never a huge fan of his but I liked the few singles they've played on the radio (i.e. Diamond Girl, Addiction) so when I had the opportunity to hit up the taping I thought "why not?"

Of course it being a BET production they weren't prepared or professional but I guess to be honest with myself I new it wouldn't be. They told us to get there just before nine pm and that Ryan would be on at ten. Of course he didn't come on til 11:30pm but at least they tried to keep us preoccupied in the casting room with free sandwiches and non -alcholic drinks (yea, I know). They also asked random questions about BET's rising icons and offered up shitty gift bags if you answered correctly. I actually won one and found a "The Wire" t-shirt, a scully, a hat, a couple cd's of artists I've never heard of and and old ass Kelly Rowland dvd. If it weren't for the fact that I'd met a couple of people who weren't only cool and good looking but also intelligent enough to hold a decent conversation I probably would have left after the first hour passed.

Once they let us into the room where the show would actually take place things pepped up considerably. They proceeded to strategically place us where they wanted us to go but me and a new found friend (who had been there since 5pm) made a b-line for the white sofas. An audience coordinator asked to place me in front of the stage but then realized I was dressed too casual. I was glad to stay on the sofa. The veiw couldn't have been better.

For the most part it's not a show it's a television production so the artist only performs four songs, though he sings them all twice and they have us clap randomly as to get shots for editing purposes I presume. I can say Ryan Leslie has an abundance of energy that clearly radiates out into the audience. He's thinner than I expected but his swagger is multi-demensional and he's pretty funny. I can tell he loves what he's doing and watching him in process is quite entertaining. I'll definitely check for him in the future and watch his career with a curt eye.

We were leaving by 1am and so I texted my homey Village to see if he could get me into club Mansion (M2) since he throws a party there every Friday night. He told me to come through and I partied there until four in the morning. The crowd was just a tad bit ghetto, but the dj was aight and after a few drinks I didn't notice. Of course it was pouring by the time we left and I'd parked a block away so rather than run to my car and risk breaking my neck running in four inch heels I decided it would be smarter to simply walk. Of course I was drenched when I reached it but at least I had my good old Wire t-shirt from my BET gift bag to dry off with.

All in all the night was cool enough. Nothing too crazy happening either way and just tipsy enough to fall instantly into a deep sleep afterwards. Who could ask for more.

From My Lips To God's Ears

2009-04-20T12:17:00.000-07:00

Today it's cold and raining but after two days of absolutely gorgeous weather I can't complain. I went to the dentist this morning, after missing my last appoinment last month, only to find out that they don't except my current insurance. The funny thing, though, is that I asked them if they accepted my insurance when I made the appoinment and the young lady who asnwered the phone said yes. Unfortunately for me, she didn't bother to tell me which of the selected branches of said insurance that they accept specifically. I wasn't too mad since the visit gave me the opportunity to leave the house this morning and there's something about watching people hurry to and fro in the early morning streets of New York City. That being said, I'm glad i'm back at home watching the rain fall from my living room windows.

Yesterday a very good friend of mine had a party to observe the canabis holiday of 420. I showed up around three with a twelve pack of Coronas and Pilsbury cookies. So many old faces that I hadn't seen in ages showed up. It's always a good time at Corren's and yesterday was no different. I do wish I would've gone back after I left though. Ahhhh, just as well...

On Saturday I went to an NYU continuing education information session that was less painful and more insightful than I thought it would be. And I must say after going through it I feel like the admission process is a lot less intimidating. That's not to say it's easy but still...

What I wanna be when I grow up...

2009-03-13T08:48:00.000-07:00

I've been accepted back to school and I'm feeling pretty randy about the idea of going back, though it's forcing me in the interim weeks of figuring out exactly what it is that I want to do with/for the rest of my life. That's some pretty heavy shit to contemplate on and much more difficult to answer than expected. From day to day my interests point me in so many directions that one moment I want to be in music, the next marketing, the next an actor. You can see how the task of pinning down one specific career path can be. That being said, when I'm confronted with the same question posed to me when I was a young girl, If it weren't for money, what would you do? It's a powerful thought! For they say when your work is what you would gladly do for free, then it's really not working at all and one part of life's mystery is solved for you. Bam! Just like that. And so my journey begins. I know exactly what I would do if money weren't a factor. I would be a writer...of books, and poetry, screen plays and editorials. Perhaps be the editor of a great magazine. And so I work from there. From a crazy idea filled room that I, in some kind of way, must find a way to the beauty in my mind.

2009-02-20T08:12:00.000-08:00

Things are pretty much going how they've been going for the last few months. Seemingly since the holidays the job search has slowed down considerably. I think it's time for me to revamp the resume, make the recruiter rounds and kick up some dust. With all this stimulus talk I'm figuring I should be doing some stimulating of my own.

That being said I'm actually doing fine. I should be writing more but other than that I'm feeling optimistic about life in general. Last weekend a friend of mine invited me to club Runway for the opening night of his weekly "Blame it on the Goose" Sunday night party with Ryan Leslie which was a lot more entertaining than I'd initially thought it would be. Not that my friend can't throw a hot party, he most definitely can but since I've been going out for a while now it gets pretty old, pretty fast.

Long story short....cute club, sorta ran down but not enough to call it a dump. Sound system was ok, I've heard better and I've definitely heard worse. Ryan sounded just like his record. Still not sure if I'd want to see him live but from what I saw in person and what his interviews I heard on the radio he seems personable enough. Not sure if I'll be making a habit out of attending every Sunday but I wish Vill all the best with this new endeavor. Maybe next time I'll take pictures.

And lastly, anyone else annoyed at all of this anti-stimulus talk. They don't like it but they want that money tho!

*shakes head*

Realization of a Renaissance

2008-11-22T19:29:00.000-08:00

"Real love is always fated. It has been arranged before time. It is the most meticulously prepared of coincidences. And fate, of course, is simply a secular term for the will of God, and coincidence for His grace." Joshua Harris

Once in a life time, some will say, if your really lucky, some day - a long time from now - you might have the succint possibility of meeting your knight in shining armor. And if the universe favors you at the perfect moment it just might let you bask in complete happiness of knowing that you are the best at what you do and reap all ensuing benefits of being so.

I appreciate the Obamas for the seeming proof and contradiction of this belief. A bit of a familial oxymoron themselves, it's only fitting that the general, stereo-typical mold is shattered into a million tiny peices. Add to this phenomenom the undeniable fact that Michelle and Barack make it seem all to natural and, well, easy, that it forces you to recognize its certain attainability if only you knew how.

I'm not speaking of the obvious monumental changes that are taking place from our country electing it's first African-American male to lead us boldly into the future. I am held in complete awe of the underlying affects and transitions that are taking place mentally and spiritually. If you think about it, you see it taking form too.

We all have a sob story to tell...

2008-10-26T13:52:00.000-07:00

Often times life pushes us into certain situations and mind frames that are totally condusive to/for the perfect atmosphere of conducting a genuine and vital self-evaluation and reflection and it is in these under appreciated moments that one can learn the most about themselves, rest their spirit with complete peace of mind and bring to focus issues that might not have otherwise come to head.

Life is funny that way, ya know. I realized a long time ago that there are no absolutes and your life can change at a moments notice. I've since learned to enjoy my life exactly for what it is and not to waste not even a moment on the things that may seem negative. For in the end I believe that everything happens for a reason and that reason, even if blind to me now, is for the greater good of all parties involved.

I guess I say all of this to say even though my life may not be exactly as I thought it would be at this stage in my life, I'd much rather have the very hand that I'm playing than to trade it up or down for someone elses mess.

Ase!!!

Why settle for less when you know you deserve better?

2008-10-11T08:37:00.000-07:00

Rationality is a commitment to the facts — an inviolable willingness to face reality, no matter how painful, frightening, or unpleasant the truth may be in a specific case. And rationality means never placing any consideration above one’s honest grasp of the facts.

I just finished reading Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged. And even though it's a pretty hefty read I have to admit it held my attention for the most part, though not as intently as Leo Tolstoy's War & Peace held me in its grasp. At the very root of the plot lies Mrs. Rand's basis for Objectivism which is the philosophy that preaches in essence, the concept of man as a heroic being, with his own happiness as the moral purpose of his life, with productive achievement as his noblest activity, and reason as his only absolute. -Her words not mine.

Hmmmmm.... I have to admit that the thought sounds intriguing, if even a bit selfish. My mama used to always say that she knew with certainity that I deserved to be happy which I think lies at the very foundation of Ayn Rand's Objectivism. She believed that the proper moral purpose of one's life is the pursuit of one's own happiness or rational self-interest.

Amen to that. I'm on my objectivism ish these days...reminds me of something my first love once asked me...why settle for less, when you know you deserve better?

Ain't It The Truth

2008-09-02T16:02:00.001-07:00

I decided last week that this week would be the start of a renewed since of urgency and approachment in regards to my job search. I revised my resume and came up with a creative and unique cover letter. I also made me an appointment to have my hair straigtened and my nails done. I submitted approximately ten or fifteen resume's and have about four call backs three of which landed in interviews for possible gigs. I say possible because the interviews are with recruiting firms. That seems to be the agent of choice for would be employers these days.

I made a point to only show interested in jobs that I might actually wanna go to for the most part and that made the most since financially. It's been two months now and I figure Summer's winding down it's time to get it poppin again.

And so, easy, breezy like this view from the balcony on my trip to Aruba I feel good about the possibilities.

On another note, i've been thinking of volunteering for the Obama campain. I surely don't have any money to give. Hell, it's hard enough paying bills less known donations. But time? that I got. Plenty of it in fact. At least right now I do. Hopefully that'll change soon though.

2008-05-21T08:53:00.000-07:00

The pressure of survival in the big city will make you lose sight of your dream...hang in there. - De La Vega

It's taken me a while but I've finally lost my 'writer's procrastination' and suddenly after months of silence the characters in my head have started speaking again, all vying for room in the que of my creative space so whenever i'm writing it pours out like rain onto the page. For a while it was as though I didn't have the patience to write anything more than journal entries. I'd sit in front of the laptop, curser blinking, page blank. For the first three months of the year I rarely found the energy to even pick up the lap top. I was much more inclined to pick up my coloring books and color for hours as I sat on my sofa and simultaneously watched reruns of Flavor of Love and Project Runway. Don't laugh, there's something very therapudic about coloring. Ask my cousin Lawanna or her granddaughter Zaria, they'll tell you.

I slid back into writing as easily and effortlessly as I left it. One night I reached for my coloring box and a character from the new book I'm working on said 'not tonight...it's my turn'. I obliged and a month down the line I'm still in this mode. It's a wonderful feeling to be back. New York City has away of putting and then keeping you on the grind for extended periods of time and unfortunately when you put all your energy towards capitalistic gain you most often sacrifice any creative outlets that could use the energy. As it now seems the universe is pulling for me to write, my circumstances are becoming ever more conducive to a creative frame of mind. Thank goodness!

On another note... Isn't it nice when you run into people you haven't seen in ages. A friend of mine who has written numerous books including the one to the right was recently in Harlem and I had the pleasure of giving him a surprise visit. It's been years since I've seen or talked to him and so I briefly thought that he could have possibly forgotten me. Gladly, I was wrong. Our reunion was full of big smiles, tight hugs and keep in touches. Michael Eric Dyson is one of those rare individuals who has the ability to remain relevant to both young and old, educated and not. He's truly anointed with the gift of speak! I've yet to read his book but plan on taking it with me to Aruba to read as I lay out on it's beautiful beaches!

I Feel Like....

2008-05-09T14:45:00.001-07:00

Strange dreams of you it seems,
Leaves me finding beauty in the smallest of things...

Succumbing to My Reality

2008-05-08T08:47:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, on my way from the doctors office at 35th and Park I walked right past one of the many Sean Bell demonstrations going on in the city. At first I was confused as to what was going on but I soon saw the many "stop the violence" and "no justice, no peace" signs and knew exactly what was going on. I wanted to go over and join them or see things up close and personal at the very least but my lunch hour had already been taken and I couldn't account for taking any longer. The revolutionist in me had to bow to its capitalist side and I hopped in a cab and got back to work. So sad but true.

*photo courtesey of bossip.com

They Say Hind Sight Is 20/20

2008-05-07T13:23:00.000-07:00

My mama used to always say 'you never know what'll happen in the next twenty minutes'. This always came on the heels of a negative occurrence and it was her kind and gentle way of saying "that's life, kiddo. Deal with it!". Hind sight is 20/20 and now I know precisely what she meant. Life in all its inevitable-ness is filled with interruptions and complications and the grand benefit to all of this change is simply that...meaning whatever you're experiencing always remember that yes, this too, shall pass. Good for us that the change could just as easily be good for us as it can be bad. It's was Barack Obama calls the audacity of hope. Something my mama was filled to the brim with.

So the other day one of my best sweety pies on the planet, Corren, came by the office around quitting time and we both walked in the same direction...she to her friend who owns a recording studio and me to get my nails done. After small talk I was invited to the studio after my appointment and since it was in such close proximity to where I was going anyway I obliged. Once I get there it wasn't twenty minutes before I see an old friend. One who i was not neccessarily estranged from but one I definitely wasn't on constant speaking terms with. Long story short, my mama's words popped right into my head. For what its worth, I didn't mind seeing him but I was completely fine not seeing him. Since we never really figured out exactly what our connection entailed we somehow scraped past having too, leaving, what they call, an 800 pound gorrilla in the room whenever we linked. Eventually the gorilla just got too damn big for us to occupy the same time space continuum and our time together became more effort than either of us afforded to it. Waking up that day, seeing him was pretty much one of the last things I'd expected to do...but damn if it didn't feel nice. You never know what'll happen in the next twenty minutes...true indeed!

On another note, I came across this crazy video of this chick going hard on some random old lady on the train. It's rather sad to watch but it's like they say... the same things that make you laugh can make you cry.

Also, last night Barack Obama won the North Carolina Primaries! A perverbial fire has been set under my political enthusiasm and I'm greatly interested in finding out how all of this will play out.

On another note, my heart and prayers go out to all the people of Myanmar who fell victim to the Cyclone that has reaped unimaginable loss!

Girl Please!!!

2008-04-22T10:34:00.000-07:00

Today I'm launching my first-ever installment of GIRL PLEASE. From time to time I may come up with a list of characters, opinions, and ever encompassing outlandish-ness for yours, but more specifically my, entertainment. Welcome to the circus!!!

Girl Please! Case No. 1

’ She says she’s had therapy because inside her flamboyant outbursts is a scared deserted child and: ‘What I hate is people who, because you are in the public eye, try to take advantage of you, blackmail you. Unfortunately what happens is that lawyers become your best friend . . . What has been written about me is out of the hemisphere. Just wrong . . . I don’t care if they call me a bitch. A bitch is someone defending their rights . . . I’m a fighter.’ But ‘I’ve learned to meditate, to give myself some breaks during the day. I’ve rediscovered my good humor.

It’s clear that Naomi definitely needs to learn how to chill the hell out. May we suggest aromatherapy or purchasing a new weave to cover that raggedy-ass hairline?

**Photo & Funny Quote Courtesy of Bossip.com - I love this website

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Girl Please!! Case No. 2

So it's lunch time at my office and I'm starving so I heat up the left overs I brought in from dinner last night - baked chicken, cabbage & sausage, mac & cheese, and white rice when (you didn't need to know that part, just thought I'd show off my cooking skills) when one of my associates from the office says "you know, your not supposed to heat up food in plastic containers when you're using the microwave". I explained that maybe that was the case but at times I was just too lazy to put my food in a "microwave safe" dish...hell, i'm not even sure I own a microwave safe dish. And there was no way I was about to throw away my lunch! Now, I'd heard this some time ago or maybe read it in an email somewhere about how microwave plastics release something called dioxins that can cause breast cancer but for some reason when my associate said something about it this afternoon...something didn't ring true so I decided to get my inspector gadget on and investigate further. Turns out it's a urban legend....

WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOW
The claim that plastic food wraps and containers can release dioxins in the microwave oven is misleading. First, the vast majority of plastics used in food wraps and packaging containers do not contain the chemical constituents that can form dioxins. Second, dioxins are a family of compounds that are produced by combustion at high temperatures. They can only be formed during combustion at temperatures typically above 700 degrees Fahrenheit. In other words, even if all of the constituents were present, you also would need to have a very hot fire in your microwave oven, in which case you probably wouldn’t eat the food anyway.

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Girl Please!! Case No. 3

Need I say more...

**Photo Courtesy of SandraRose.com - I love this website too!

Riff Raff, Bafoonery, and Plain Old Entertainment

2008-04-21T11:14:00.000-07:00

I'll be the first to admit that something about this man's wife urks the hell outta me. I'll also be the first to say that I'll definitely be one of the first to buy his album. As annoying as he is his talent is, indeed, undeniable.

So the word is tonight Khia will be eliminated from the VH1 reality series Miss Rap Supreme. She had a long rant on AllHipHop.com today about how it was all a ploy for publicity. If you say so...Khia, girl, you a trip but I ain't mad at your new single.

I can not tell a lie, shits hot!

When The Going Gets Tough...Get Your Ass Out The Way

2008-04-15T11:59:00.000-07:00

Mood: Slightly More Optimistic Than Yesterday

As the weather warms so does my spirits! Seems each day it gets a little warmer and I notice more and more trees blossoming and suddenly the possibilities seem quite intriguing.

Last night Fa invited me to go to Butter with her. If you don't know Butter is THE place to be on Monday nights. You'll find everybody from Diddy to Jay Z partying it up at Butter on Monday nights and my ass fell asleep on the sofa and didn't wake up until well after I cared to give a shit about going. Fa is this chick i met awhile ago at the club and she seems cool enough though we haven't really hung out since then. Hopefully we'll make that happen. It's not everyday you meet people on your level that you can actually stand long enough to kick it with. Perhaps next Monday i'll roll through with her. Ain't nothing like a scene to get the juices flowing!

All Along The Watchtower

2008-04-14T09:20:00.000-07:00

Mood: Borderline Moody/Melancholy

There must be some kind of way out of here
Said the joker to the thief
There's too much confusion
I can't get no relief

This picture of my cousin Zaria speaks volumes to me!!

I woke up this morning in a fairly placid state of mind. I peeked at the morning sky from my warm, comfortable bed and was pleased to find the sky a bright blue, the sun shining bright. Unfortunately, something happened between me actually rising from my bed and me taking that first step outside my front door. A mood begin to set in and I begin laboring over things that I have no control over. A helplessness set in and by the time I'd reached the door to my job I was out and out displeased with my life. Not sure why I felt that way as nothing has happened to warrant even the slightest inkling of that feeling. I wonder how the stars and moon are aligning today...somethings got to be up. I'm not my normally disgusting happy self today. Thank goodness I have Jimi Hendrix to get me through.

Miami Baby!

2008-04-09T13:50:00.001-07:00

When i tell you that Miami was the bomb, please believe me! Me and my girls decided to take a long weekend and get out of the city to relax and decompress. We arrived on a Thursday night and didn't really stop partying til the following Monday. As soon as our feet touched ground I could feel the warm air engulf my body and immediately it felt like it was party time. I'd told my cuz Brandon that I'd be down for the weekend and so he and his girlfriend made the short trip south to hang out themselves as see me! It seems I never get to see him anymore since he lives in Florida and I in New York but we made it work!

Our nights consisted of lots of drinking and dancing and a celebration of some sort until sunrise. And each day we'd hang out by the ocean or by some random pool. Like the rooftop at the Gansevoort which has a beautiful 360 degree view of the beach.

Spending time in Miami reminds me of the Kanye song "Maaannn, why can't life always be this easy!"
Check out some of the pictures from our crazy weekend here...

Miami!!!!!

As you can tell from the pictures, we pretty much left no stone unturned and paid visits to Mansion, Sweet, Step, Love & Hate, The Delano Hotel and the Gansevoort Hotel Rooftop. We had dinner at the famous Prime112 and the infamous China Grill as well as had brunch at the Raleigh! I met a ton of people that were really cool and we have decided that this must be a trip we take every few months or so.

I know this sounds pretensions but if you've never been to Miami you absolutely must go!

When Room Service Gets Wack

2008-03-18T15:21:00.000-07:00

It seems as if time is playing that same old dirty trick where it passes by without effort and springs up on your ass like 'noon to a drunkard'...sudden than a muthafucka! Here we are damn near in April and it it feels like just yesterday I was bringing the new year in. Fortunately, with the passing of the time comes the passing of the seasons and for New York that means that the cold weather is being forced out daily though it's still brick here. Back home Dallas my family tells me of 75 degree days while i spend mine wrapped in my winter coat like its Christmas time again. Fortunately, New Yorkers are resilliant creatures. They don't care if its three feet of snow on the ground, the city keeps on moving along.

I can say that since day light saving kicked in my appetite for partying has grown. It used to be that when I got off work 6pm it was completely dark. Now I can make it all the way home before the street lights kick on which lets me know that Spring is right around the corner.

Last night I went to Room Service. Village will be hosting Sunday nights there officially starting in April and for what it's worth it's actually a pretty cool spot. Great design, banging sound system and just big enough to where its not over bearing. I wasn't going to go but in the end felt like it was as good a night to party as any. Saw some of the regulars of course and suprisingly J. appeared out of nowhere. I hadn't seen him in a couple months and was pleasantly surpised to find him there. It was Rocko's album release party. You know the cat that sings "Ummma Do Meeee!!!". I saw a coule of Diddy's Day 26 memebers in there as well. I heard Jermain Dupri was there as well but I never saw him. Anyway, i woke up this morning feeling relatively normal since I didn't really drink at all and tried to take it in early. if you can count 3am as early.

I did speak to one of my best girlfriend's in the world, Ebony. I hadn't spoke to her in a while so it felt good catching up with her crazy ass as usual. On another note, I've started writing again. A new novel. And I'm extremely excited about the possibilities.

My Night At the Smiranoff Signature Series Event

2008-02-25T08:43:00.000-08:00

The homie Jay hooked it up again and got me on the list for the Smiranoff Signature Series Party last night with Q-Tip, Common & KRS-1 along with Dre from Cool & Dre, Just Blaze and DJ Premier. It was at this spot called Element on the lower east side, two floors, pretty cool for a show as it has a stage and a pretty good sound system. Just so happens I get a call from Dave Lighty asking whats going on for the night and since he's on the guest list as well (you couldn't buy your way into this joint for the most part) we decided to meet there. Good thing too as the people on the regular guest list were not allowed to enter the venue until 7pm and did not have access to the upstairs VIP area. Me walking in with Dave allowed me to receive one of those coveted red bracelets that gave you autonomy to roam freely.

The first person I see walking in is Sway of MTV fame. Very personable guy. He was the show host and I appreciated the fact that he actually spoke to me as if he knew me which is always cool. I hate when lames act all Hollywood. As we walked across the dance floor to the nearest bar, which had all the free Smironoff you could want, I saw Jonny Nunez, which many people wouldn't know by face but I'm sure you've gazed at more than one of his photographs of celebrities mainly hip hop celebrities. I always see him out but for some reason we never really acknowledge that fact. I guess that's a New York thing.

While at the bar waiting on a drink who walks right up next me? Consequence of Kanye's label GOOD Music. The interesting thing about seeing him is that we actually had words, though very few, at this Usher party last year. This was before Don't Quit Your Day Job actually dropped but not long after The Cons Vol 3 - Da Come Back Kid was released. Anywho, at the time I was really feeling that mixtape so I said something to that effect to which he graciously thanked me. This time though, I didn't say anything but I did catch something in his face that saw something familiar in mine. Once again, that new york thing... And just to add my 2 cents, I wasn't really feeling DQYDJ. Something was missing from what I found so infectuous on the mixtape. I guess if you can't say something nice...

So after getting a not so tasty concoction of the Blueberry Smironoff and lemonade mix drink that was inspired by Q-Tip it was upstairs to the VIP area. We sat directly next to Dre's table. Dave actually knew him so fifteen minutes into sitting there we were all smoking together. He's cuter in person. Most times I see him in videos or on tv he looks kinda droopy in the face. You know, the sleepy eye look. But in person not so much.

Before long Sway stepped on stage and introduced Q-Tip. Donning an old school black and gold addidas suit Tip looked and sounded like he was in good form. It was good seeing him perform as I haven't really whitnessed him doing anything other than DJing as of late.

Next up was Common. I havn't seen Common perform in a long ass time. It's easily been a couple years. And I was reminded of how great a performer this man is. And how fine! Of course he did the favorites and did a dope freestyle to end it all. I have to make sure I make a point to see him the next time he comes to the city to perform.

Lastly, came KRS -1 whom I'm not ashamed to say I don't really know. I was born and raised in Texas and if i never felt like a New Yorker, it was last night when this man hit the stage. Cats was madd hype to see him. Old heads, young heads, everybody. Although, I know the choruses to songs like South Bronx and Criminal Minded the only song I could probably recite is Self Destruction....Obviously, he didn't do that song.

Fucking Around With The Roots All Day

2008-02-24T11:05:00.000-08:00

Dice Raw, Me, And Black Thought @ The video shoot for 75 Bars/Get Busy

Can I just say that both Dice and Thought were cool and laid back and the entire experience was memorable. I can't wait to see the video to see if I have a cameo appearance. Thought is absolutely grown and sexy in person. I also chatted with Quest and saw Kamal though i didn't have the opportunity to talk with him.

Surreal...For Real

2008-02-11T13:42:00.000-08:00

"Last night I saw you in my dreams. Now I can't wait to go to sleep."

Ye gave this performance in rememberance/reverence of his mother and it struck a deep chord with me.

After watching this and going to bed I dreamed of my own mama.

How sweet it was...

When Life Comes At You Fast

2008-02-04T14:42:00.000-08:00

I'm in a complete place of contentment today. I feel oddly at peace.

Interesting events that make you think...

Monday night I went to the Pink Elephant. I've never been and was pleasantly suprised at how nice it was. The New York Giants had there Super Bowl celebration there and the boys were definitely in the house pouring up Crystal like it wasn't funny. I swore I saw at least 10-15 bottles of that shit floating around at any given time. Confetti was flying, everybody was dancing, partying up like we'd all got a championship ring...it was actually a really fun night. The only way it could have been better is if my crush had showed up. Not that I would've done anything if he had. I realized that while football players are super fine but I'm not really attracted to them. Yet and still I appreciate the fitness.

So this past Saturday I hung out at my homegirl Corren's house. Donwizzle came through which is always cool. I hadn't seen his ass since I ran into him at the Pete Rock party a few months back. We ate, listened to music, smoked, drank...you get the idea. I like Brooklyn...it has its own soul. Whenever I'm there I feel like i'm trapped in an old common song...like my very own nag champa video. Erick ended up coming by as well although I think he was probably a bit dissapointed. I had not seen him in a month of sundays and the mood was akward and felt somewhat strange. I hate when that happens.

The primaries happened last night and voters in twenty-two states had the chance to choose who they would put into office. In the end Obama cameup trailing Hilary in electoral votes. The margin was a slim one and I think this solidifies Obama's presence even more. It would have been nice had he won though.

I had a training session this morning. For Gary to have worked me out so bad I actually feel good. quite rejuvenated and fit! Having a trainer is so expensive and prettty soon I'm going to have to figure out a way to supplement my income since I don't think I can keep paying as I go for much longer. Not for nothing, though, it still feels good getting my ass in shape.

See, That's Your Problem...

2008-01-29T08:31:00.000-08:00

Last night I joined a gym. A pretty fancy one too. My boss had been telling me that the company would pay for membership if I was interested and I finally got tired of procrastinating and joined last night. For those of you leaving in New York City, you know David Barton as catering to a gay crowd. I walked in last night with no idea on what to expect and found what looked like a club. There was a dj and the atmosphere screamed party hard. Well, party hard and I'm gay.

Setting myself up for the Okey Doke I scheduled a personal training session for eight oclock this morning. What in the hell was I thinking? I forgot even what the commute on the train was like at that hour. NY'ers are beast durning rush hour. I don't have to be at work until ten and by then its pretty much quiet on the train. These clowns on the train before them seem more like walking zombies than human beings. I almost had to cuss this chick out for sticking her bag in my back. Rude!

After the fact, the work out session was actually pretty cool. And if it weren't for the fact that them shits cost an arm and a leg I'd probably commit to seeing a trainer twice a week. Looks like I'll be taking the group classes instead.

This weekend VH1 is hosting an open call for a television show that centers around the contest to become Puffy's assistant. Why am I intrigued by this? I've almost convinced myself to go and try out...but i'm scared. Scared they may actually choose me that is. I have the coolest job as it is...I'd hate to have to choose.

What else?

This was a passage written by the comedian George Carlin. It struck home on many levels and I feel the need to share simply because it's the truth. And it's definitely worth the read.

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways , but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete...

Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.

Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.
Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.

Remember, to say, 'I love you' to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.

Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.

Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

If you don't send this to at least 8 people....Who cares?

George Carlin

Afflictions with Obsessions

2008-01-28T09:07:00.000-08:00

I'd say this weekend passed effortlessly enough. I made plans but of course once it actually came down time to execute them I decided to do otherwise. I did go grocery shopping which only aided in my staying in for the two short days that is my time off from work and I must admit when i made the concious decision to stay in it felt strangely liberating.

Whilst at home I somehow became obsessed with watching the S. Carolina primaries. I was overjoyed that Barack Obama took it with such force and was literally on the edge of my seat while listening to him give his victory speech. I've taken the liberty of posting it up here in case any of you missed it. For the first time in, well, period I feel connected to the election process and hopeful that something other than self serving initiatives can take place from within it. It's was Barack calls the audacity of hope! I wanna attend a rally or some shit, get more into it all! I want to take part in this political revolution.

I find myself severly motivated by this man and his ideas...

So last night was the birthday party of one of the guys in the click that I sometimes go out with. I'd pretty much been phsyched to attend since i received the invite being that I think the guy is interesting and all but like so many other plans I had for the weekend, shit just fell through. I think this goes back to me not wanting to move forward in regards to my crush...shit I just like having one. In the end I just didn't feel like being bothered but in the spirit of keeping crushes alive, I'm posting up the new video for Honey.

Erykah Badu - Honey
The video has as much of an old school feel as the song itself and I love it! Check it out.

Man, I can't wait to get my tax return money!!

Life is Full of Interuptions and Complications

2008-01-22T07:43:00.000-08:00

Mental Tug-O-War...Bodies dancing closely yet not together. I felt like he placed himself there beside me...strategically. Or maybe sub-consiously for it was as if he appeared magically. Normally a reserved specimen, even in the club, he became animated for the slightest moment raising his arms in the club's haze filled air..."I got the baddest chick in the game wearing my chain!" I danced along side him feigning dis-interest. Why do I feel like a school girl around this man? Is he my crush...a moments fixation...a fleeting fantasy? At moments I clearly felt his gaze fall on my face and body. Seemingly outlining every inch he took in. Never as I watched him though. Not once did he allow me the chance to look deep into his eyes. For that is where I can see everything, that's where I would be able to tell, to see. Even as our glances passed over each other I could tell he made a consious effort to not give in to me regarding this. And this did nothing but heighten the feeling of wanting to know.

I almost prefer to leave it at this. I fear i'll not like him at all if I even attempt to get to know him. Not knowing keeps the dream alive so to speak, for life is full of interuptions and complications and whose to say this isn't exactly what that is.

There were other people there too, obviously. I saw those Making the Band boys. Oh and Danity Kane too who I must say looked somewhat busted. Especially that D Woods chick who seemed to be coupled up with Q, which is funny since I figured him to be gay since the first time I saw him. And Will that man is fine but even he was with some drunk dumpy looking girl. Go figure. The NY Giants were in the building as it was their celebration for making it to the Supebowl but since I don't follow football like that I couldn't tell you the Quaterback from the towel boy I won't even try to name names.

I love when nights go all perfect and shit.

Since No One Else Has The Guts To Say It...

2007-12-03T14:31:00.000-08:00

They boo'd his ass! The other night I went to the Jam Master Jay Tribute Concert and Award Show at Hammerstein Ballroom. There was a long list of performers like Snoop, De La Soul, MOP, Dead Prez, and Mobb Deep. The few that stick out is Papoose who did a bunch of mixtape songs noone new or cared to hear and Jim Jones who the crowd actually boo'd. I'll be honest and say he deserved it too! For some reason he didn't have a show tape to perform to. He was trying to rap over his own lyrics which came off as sounding as if he didn't practice. Where's the professionalism? I actually dig Jimmy but his set was the absolute worse. Actually, maybe it was the ex-rapper turned country singer Everlast who stated "Johnny Cash was the first hip hop gangster!" And even sung a Cash song. Either way the it was absolute hilarious.

Shouts out to my homie Shucky who somehow bumrushed the MOP set, wildin' out, drunker than a you-know-what! And Jay for hookin' a girl up with that free ticket!

Finding Solace in the Randomness...AKA...A Dime A Dozen

2007-11-29T11:02:00.000-08:00

Last night I went to a club called Retreat. It's a pretty chill spot, kinda small but nice atmosphere just the same. My homie Village, whose a promoter invited me to this NBA party where I don't think I even saw any players. Well, maybe there was one or two but I didn't know the faces and only assumed they were players becasue they were tall and had a little bling. Yes one of them tried to holla but, no, I wasn't interested. I always like going out with Village cause I know its bottle poppin and VIP all night long. I also like the fact that he has a pretty cool bunch of people he hangs with. If nothing else they don't fuck with me.

The night started out cool enough and I was pleasantly suprised to see that Village had also invited Jay. Jay is this guy that I seem to randomly see at various functions. The last time I saw him I was at my old boss Micheal's restaurant on a Thursday night. I didn't say anything then just like the times before but for some reason last night I felt ok to introduce myself and told him that I thought he was handsome. He smiled, said thank you a couple of times and gave me mock praise in return in the form of a worshipping motion with his hands and arms. That was it. No more conversation. I did catch him looking at me a couple of times after that but nothing more. For some reason something about the whole exchange intrigued me.

After Retreat a group of us went to Lotus. Lotus was crazy. Packed to the brim with people (at least on the first floor) but that didn't stop Village from getting us all into VIP. I saw Swizz Beatz who said what's up (I'll talk about that later), Terrence and Rocsi and I think Treach from Naughty By Nature. I caught Terrence checking me out and if I didn't know better I'd think Rocsi was looking at him looking at me like what the hell is he looking at. Of course I was tipsy and can be guilty of a small amount of narcissism here and there so there is the very minute possiblitly that I mistook a passing glance as checking me out though I very seriously doubt it. Around 3:30 I decided to leave and just as I get into the cab I see Swiss walking up to a Maybach with some guys. "Hey cutie." I say. "No you're the cutie." he replies. I'd met him at a party a while back and asked if he remembered me. "Of course I remember you" he says. And of course I didn't believe him but it still felt good to hear.

For the most part it felt really good to go out and just chill with some cool people and party in the midsts of it all. I hadn't really been out like that in a while and it did wonders for my ego. It was a completely random evening and I can't wait to do it again.

Changes Abound...

2007-11-27T12:47:00.000-08:00

I contemplated changing my hair for a while before I actually mustered up enough nerve to do it. While I do fancy myself as a proponent of change, changing my hairstyle seemed a little daunting. I mean, I liked my old hair style. Being that i'd rocked if for the better part of the last four years a change not only felt needed but wanted.

I figured since 2008 is steadily approaching, why not. The end of the year has always been a time for reflection, of prospects and of realizing my future. I figured with all the changes I've been facing recently changing my hair was actually no biggie. It seemed more of a progression than any thing and I can honestly say that I'm so glad I did it.

Overlooking the undeniably obvious....

2007-11-20T10:16:00.000-08:00

So many things have managed to change within the blink of an eye and like they so often do they have popped up suddenly than a muthafucka! These things have caused me to analyze and pick a part every minute detail of my life. And as we all know with self reflection comes the menancing cruelty and uplifting enlightment of reality. For the first time in a long time I feel as though I'm able to really let myself fully experience things without utilizing the defense mechanism I've developed over the years of feigning disinterest. I'm opening myself to all things with nothing expected but the experience of living itself and I"m filled with this the undeniable feeling of being young again. I mean, not that I'm old but I've got my share of baggage in life's perverbial trunk and it feels good to lose that shit in the universal airport.

Kings or Pawns, Emperors or Fools

2007-08-24T10:42:00.000-07:00

First have any of you been to this blog at jonathanjaxon.blogspot.com? It’s the most entertaining tabloid read I’ve had online in a long time. He claims to know the inside scoop on certain celebrities who are gay or bi-sexual. This list is crazy. He says Jonnie Gill & Eddie Murphy been sleeping together for years. I think everybody pretty much knew this. Well except for maybe Tracey Edmunds. This chick is either in it for the money or completely off her rocker. Who’d want to marry a man who’s had his lover live in he and his last wife’s pool house. Baby! These old hoes act more stupid than the young ones at times. Although he doesn’t call Ludacris gay he does say that back in the day Luda used to have sex with some random gay guy that’s now become a porn star. He claims that R Kelly, Ja Rule and DMX all have slept with their male stylist at some point and that Big Tigger at some point was fucking with both Superhead and Tyson Beckford at the same time. None of these people surprise me. Not even Luda. Now this guy Jonathan Jaxon is this gay, ex-publicists or something like that. He’s hung out with some celebs, represented some others and fallen out with others still. Although I can’t say if everything he says is the truth, if you go to his website and watch his video blogs you’ll find him very convincing. And definitely not afraid of getting sued. Personally, I think he’s a breath a fresh air. Who didn’t know Usher, Will Smith and Jamie Fox weren’t gay? OK, so maybe we didn’t know but yall know we, at least, thought it. This guy had the guts to come out and say that he’d actually shared a hot and really good kiss with Cuba Gooding Jr. Now you see poor Cuba in the tabloids being accused of hitting on all sorts of women. I guess his PR person believes its better to be an aldulterer than to be gay. Damn fools, I tell ya. I, for one, can’t wait to see what happens with all of this.

Method to the Madness…
I’ve been working out for almost two weeks now. I’d noticed I gained a few (actually 12) pounds over the last six to nine months and figured I’d better do something about it before the situation totally got away from me. I guess, as I get older all the sweet cakes and potato chips with hot sauce is catching up with me. I figured to make the situation easier I’d join a gym and get a trainer. You know, get someone on my team to motivate my ass to exercise and eat right continuously. What I didn’t expect was the affects it would have on my energy and my attitude in general. Last night I went to the gym to get on some of the three hours of cardio I have to do outside of my sessions with the trainer weekly. After leaving I thought I’d be out of it but to my surprise I felt like a million bucks. I did forty minutes on the treadmill and twenty on the elixir. At some point I realized I liked it and it was as though the more sweat that poured off me the better. I was in a trance.

Chronicles of a Real G

2007-07-26T07:49:00.000-07:00

I came across this yesterday and the man made so much sense I had to post it up. He's basically speaking on the state of Hip Hop and how we must incur some much needed changes before it's totally ruined. He spoke of this fake gangster rappers are leading our children to believe that selling dope is the way to go or that instead of talking about how much money and jewelry they have they should try teaching something within their music. He even speaks on closeted homosexuals in hip hop. He says nothing's wrong with being gay - its a preference - but something is definitely wrong if your hiding it or you feel ashamed about what your doing. He talk about all kinds of stuff and he doesn't beat around the bush about it. "Get off the boo boo!" is what he says and I'm down with that! I've included the link below. If you love hip hop check it out...

http://www.trillsouth.com/blog/news/the-chronicles-of-pimp-c-ozone-magazine-official/

Fact Is Sometimes Fiction...

2007-07-24T05:15:00.000-07:00

I tell all my non-New York friends that some how the time passes more swiftly in New York than in any city I've ever been in. The days pass like hours and before you know it a month of Sundays have gone by without you barely taking notice. The last time I wrote I'd just gotten back from home. And when I'd arrived I was overwhelmed with the feeling of ambitious energy. Meaning that I was somehow motivated on my last trip home to do more than what it is that I'm currently doing with myself here. I mean, here I am in the city of dreams and I'm not utilizing all that is at my doorstep. I was acting complacent when the truth was I was anything but. Do I like my job? Hell yes. Would I like to do this for the rest of my life? Hell no! (emphatically no!) I was actually having a conversation with Sal yesterday about how it seems that in working for monetary gain I've began disregarding my creative-self and I'm non too happy about this fact. For some reason I find doing what you love for a living very romantic in a worldly kind of way. And it's something that I want to do. And it's something I AM going to do.

My cousin who lives in Florida sent me some pics of his son, Lil' Brandon. Isn't he just the cutest Little people intrigue me. I find it rather interesting to know that one day they will turn old and take care of little people of their own. I guess it has something to do with the life cycle. It actually can seem pretty depressing. It's like this old gay guy told me once..."honey none 0f us are getting any younger." Ain't that the truth.

Have any of you guys seen the new version of Google. It's called Blackle and it's supposed to save energy by having a black screen as opposed to white. Not a bad idea, however, I like it because it black. Black is my favorite color by the way. Go check it out... www.blackle.com

My ex-boyfriend James came to New York this past weekend. I hadn't talked to him in months and i wasn't quite sure how I'd react to him. We met for a quick bite to eat at this really cool outside brasserie called Maison. Just like the old days, our conversation flowed like water. It made me remember how effortless things were between us at some point. We talked about music (he's working closely with Chamillionaire - Don't ask), Dallas, and about new opportunities in New York. I took him to one of my hotels and showed off a little bit. Letting him know that his girl isn't exactly running New York but that I do have some swagger and am certainly on my way. He said he was proud and joked my current boyfriend would have something to worry about if he took the job being offered. We both laughed at that for some reason. It's weird to because I never would have thought back then that we'd be living our lives completely separate at this point. It felt good sitting in his presence, reminiscing about the good old days and talking about our respective futures. We had drinks on the rooftop of the Dream Hotel and eventually said goodbye promising to keep in touch. We were supposed to link up again before he left but it didn't pan out. Oh well...

Liquid Salvation & Tiny Fags...

2007-07-09T06:42:00.000-07:00

It's been a while and so much has transpired since my last sit down. Lets see. I went to Vegas for the weekend a couple weeks back. You know how Vegas is...Hot on many different levels. I'd met some freinds and associates there and we all stayed at the Mandalay Bay. They have this really cool man made beach that didn't do shit for me but was cool anyway. I spent the majority of my days there lounging by one of the quiter pools. It was no less than 110 degrees everyday I was there but I didn't really mind since I was at least out of the city for a few days. I went to a burlesque show while I was there at this club called forty-deuce and they served this water called Liquid Salvation. I thought the bottle was absolutely devine so I brought it back with me. This coupled with the tiny fags that a new friend of mine brought over from the UK were about the only things that made it back from Vegas. By the way, those tiny boxes get you a lot of attention. They're a great conversation starter and all the cuties kept walking up making small talk with the cigs as an ice breaker. I think I may keep the box and take them with me to bars around New York. It's sure to work here too. Thinking back on the trip I didn't really do a lot of anything. Sat by the pool by day and partied all night. And as for gambling, I left once my ass was up by $5. Hey, a win is a win. I also went to the Rum Jungle and danced my ass off. The dj's in that place know how to keep you moving. They even had a accompaning bongo guy adding to the boom and pop! I don't think I got in before 4am that night. Over all it was pretty good. The only thing that kinda annoyed me was that someone layed all of their feelings for me on the table and while I was breifly flatter it always sucks when you don't feel the same. I didn't want to lie but I didn't want to tell the truth either so I did what any one would do. I was vague. Seemed to work easily enough.

After returning from my three day weekend in Vegas I flew back to New York on Sunday for a project meeting first thing Monday morning and then flew home to Dallas on Tuesday afternoon. Home was hella good. I have to go back every couple of months to get some of that family love. Coincindentally, it makes me that much more hungrier when I return. It's as though I'm reminded why I moved to New York in the first place. Of course I saw my stinka butt who is growing so fast and is bad as hell. He's in that stage where the only thing he really like to say is "no" and "huh". Its kind of annoying. Actually very annoying but when you have a face as cute as the one above you can pretty much get away with anything. I got kinda bummed while I was home too. I think its because no one seems to be progressing the way I would like them to. They're pretty much all doing the same shit they was doing when I left. I mean I don't expect any significant changes but shit they were going to the same clubs we went to five years ago. I guess some shit just don't change. Independence day came and went. I had plenty of bar-b-que (my cousin kilt it on the grill), saw a few fire works and partied for most of my night there but was all to happy to go home. It seemed as if I'd been traveling for days on end. I even came back with a small treat for myself. Grape Swisher Sweet Cigarillos. These shits are good! They're kind of scratch and sniff. Once you unwrap them you can smell the grape everywhere.
You see that plastic bag. I missed my flight coming back to New York thinking it left at 7:50 when it really left at 7:05 so they wouldn't let me check my luggage and I had to fit all of my liquids into that tiny bag. Does anyone else think this band on liquids is getting out of control. I don't think terrorist will be bringing down a plane with my hair spritzer. I was mad as hell. That shit was $5. I had to fly into Newark which meant a $75 dollar taxi ride to the crib but I was so happy to be in my own house I didn't even care. Work has been a struggle every since too. For some reason I having a difficult time getting back to the real world. I'd much rather be rich and not have to work at all, spending my days laying out and my nights partying it up. Liquid salvation my ass...

Interesting...

2007-06-26T12:03:00.000-07:00

Strange dreams of you it seems
Leaves me finding beauty in the smallest of things...

And old friend called and asked if he could see me, if only even breifly. I agreed and was pleasantly surprised. Very.

Drunken But Not Stirred...

2007-06-25T07:32:00.000-07:00

Living in New York often leaves my days feeling like hours instead. So much has happened since the last time I've blogged. Let's see. I went to the DJ Premier/Pete Rock/9th Wonder Smironoff Party that was hosted by Ed Lover. You know, he's once funny dude and down to earth too. That's always a good thing since most cats in the industry be on some other shit half the time. It was pretty much an old school hip hop party and lots of cats stopped by to partake. Q-tip dj'ed for a while, Pharomonch stopped by. As did Talib Kweli and Sadat X...at least I think that was him. It was also Pete Rock's birthday so they came out with the cake and all that shit...everybody sang happy birthday. It was cool. You know its so cool having friends in the industry. Thanks to J, not only was it an open bar but he hooked a sista up with a VIP band and everything. That's my dude he always looking out for ya girl and I really appreciate that shit. Me and Jay go waaaay back and he's one of the few friends that have managed to stick around through all the time that has passed. Speaking of freinds from the past. That very same night I ran into Donwizzle. You know he's doing his thing with the group Tanya Morgan (http://www.tanya.com/) and I'm really proud of him. Shit, it ain't easy living in the city and doing that music thing. You gotta have some serious hustle game and a lot of stamina. Shout out to Don! You can imagine how that night ended with free booze, good
music and good friends....Drunk Ass Hell. I like nights like this... Anyway that was Thursday night. I relaxed and got some rest on Friday. For some reason I'm never excited about doing anything on Fridays. I think the by that point my work week has completely worn me down and by that time i'm not good for much more than SCB's and sleeping. And that's exactly what i did.

On Saturday I went to a bar-b-que in brooklyn at Gary, Terrence, and Danny's. Those three are so much fun to be around and they have the most awesome brownstone. It's huge and walking around it feels very industrial since they're all involved in some kind of artistic creation. You'd have to be to think of having a pinata at a backyard bar-b-que. And when I tell you watching a bunch of drunk people swing blindly and wildly at a dangling money is extremely entertaining, please believe me. That shit was hilarious. They was hitting everything but the damn monkey at first...the window, people standing near by, tables and shit. Pure comedy. Of course there was plenty of drinking and lots of food. Though they did run out

of hot dog buns at one point and we started

eating them with hamburger buns and/or pita bread. Was still good non the less. Saw some old friends and met with some completely new ones. The very cool thing about parties they throw is that they have the most interesting bunch of friends...granted they're pretty unique themselves but you get my drift. I stayed much longer than originally anticipated and so the plan to ride the train back to harlem was deaded and I was forced to cough up the $35 it took to catch a taxi. It was completely worth it though.

On Sunday I had this horrid dinner for Hilary Clinton to attend. You know, one of those fund-raising ones where you listen to speeches and they serve you cold chicken and cheap wine. Actually it wasn't that bad. I think I was more vexed by having to give up my Sunday night for this broad. I took my friend Rosie and she walked up and shook her hand and talked to her and everything. I wasn't interested. To tell you the truth I don't even know why I took the pic. She looks different in person too. For some reason Hilary just doesn't do it for me. I mean, I'd love to see a woman for president but she seems kind of dead behind the eyes. And listening to her speak sounds like word vomit. Just my opinion though. The cheap wine helped alot.

Dreading The Inevitable

2007-06-19T05:17:00.000-07:00

This past weekend was one of relative ease and monolithic reflection. I know it sounds all deep and shit but the only thing that line means is I spent my entire weekend doing absolutely nothing and on top of that my cable was on the fritz for the better part of Saturday & Sunday so I had the opportunity to sit and meditate on many things. I know this probably doesn't serve as an adequate explanation for those of you I flaked out on (Sorry Sal & Chris & J & Spec) but alas this is my blog and if I can't be honest here then where the hell can I? Saturday was pretty much a wash as my intentions started out good with plans to go by Chris's barbecue in the park earlier in the day then in the evening shoot down to Sal's for a little R&R. Needless to say I never made it. In fact I never made it further than my living room couch or the kitchen rather. I guess if I wanted to blame anyone I'd blame Hanan since he came back with the best killer ever and well...we all know of that vicious cycle. Sunday I did, at least, do laundry which was much needed.

A couple of things that came to me during my monolithic reflection was that I seriously think one of my good friends is gay. I was having this conversation with a mutual friend of ours and the more I sat my sofa and contemplated the more sense I made of everything. I've always thought something wasn't right with him but my gaydar never went off until about a month a go. Something in the way he said "he's a bad boy" just didn't seem right and that's when I started looking at him through the corner of my eye. He didn't say it nearly strong enough to pull off the fact that he was calling another man "a bad boy". It all sounded very 'how you doin?' if you know what I mean. Then, what took the cake was that his girlfriend, who also happens to be a friend of mine said she believed he was too! Oh, you could've bought my ass for a dollar cause although I'd never tell her, she basically confirmed everything I had discussed just he day or two before. So after getting my Sherlock Holmes on I sat in deep thought about the whole situation. What do you do, as a friend, knowing your friend is hiding in that perverbial closet? Does this make him a down low brother? I can't stand they greedy asses either but still... I pretty much came up with "do nothing". Either that or I just fell asleep thinking about it. It was probably the latter but hey, it works for me.

So last night, I also got bullied into attending a fundraiser dinner for Hilary Clinton that's going on next Sunday. My boss pretty much said I absolutely must go. So now I've been roped into spending Sunday night with a bunch a folks I couldn't care less about. The ironic part is that I don't even plan on voting for Hilary. I'm giving my vote to Barack Obama yet my boss says he doesn't give a shit, he just needs ten people to sit at his table. Ahhhh, politics don't you love'em!

On another note, this morning while getting dressed for work I heard a small squeaking sound in my living room. I set glue traps late last week when I saw a mouse run against the wall behind my television. That fucked me up! I think I got his ass though but my ass was too chicken to look so I left my apartment knowing pretty much there's a damn mouse trapped in my living room. I couldn't stomach seeing that shit. It would've been with me all day. So instead I'm dreading the inevitable. I mean, at some point I've got to face him, right? I'll tell you though I'm not looking forward to it. At all.

Oddly enough, in many ways that situation is much like my romantic relationship with a certain individual. We haven't been on the best of terms here lately and I've been dancing around the fact that I just don't feel the same. The mouse glued to the trap signifies our relationship and the fact that I can't ignore it forever. I realized over the weekend at some point I've got to face it and break it off. I'm so over it but for some reason I'm reluctant to tell the cat to get lost. Why is it that we dread the inevitable even when its likely to be a good thing in the end?

Laughter & Mayhem

2007-06-13T06:09:00.000-07:00

So Tuesday was one of those days where I was completely annoyed and agitated for the better part of the day. It wasn't until yesterday that I read that the sensible Taurus moon tensely squared the long-term opoosition between dreamy Neptune and realistic Saturn which may sound like gibberish to alot of yall but spelled trouble for me. When something like this occurs our days are marked by a series of delimas, which described my day perfectly on Tuesady. A series of delimas. Did you have a shitty day on Tuesday as well? Blame the planets. Listen to me. "Stars, moons quasars. Muthafuckas sounding like Elroy Jetson!" Yall remember that line from Boys In The Hood. Anyway, that was pretty much my attitude the entire day. I really just felt like cursing somebody out. Not for anything that anyone had done in particular. I wanted to do it just because I felt like it! My homie J said he felt the same way on Tuesday. I laughed when he told me he was "the angry black man" for the day. Hilarious. Fortunately, I woke up Wednesday feeling much better and pretty much had an effortlessly smooth day. I was even given another project. For my boss to be so much of an ass sometimes I must say it still feels good when he compliments me on my hard work. Even when a compliment comes in the form of more work for my ass.

My mood today is pretty relaxed. Every since Sal came back from Portugal and Puerto Rico I've been missing my beach action so I put up a picture of one of my favorite places in the entire world Buzios, Brasil!!!! I'll keep this picture indelibly printed on my brain throughout the day for a little peace of mind in all of this Mayhem. And just for the record I've never had a greater time visiting a foreign place than my time spent in Brasil. My ass has got to go back!

Here's a pic of Sal, looking dark as hell from his tramp across the globe this past month. I'm jealous but I'm also happy to see somebody's been living it up! In the end that's what its all about right? Who wants all work and no play. In this crazy world full of laughter and mayhem you have to make the time to actually step outside your self and bare witness to and partake in something that purely feels good and rejuvenates your mental, physical and spiritual self! Fuck the dumb shit yo. Hallelujah, Holla Back!

I Absolutely Adore Amy!!!!

2007-06-06T09:52:00.000-07:00

Here's Amy singing Valerie, a cover of a track from the UK band The Zutons! Something about her beligerence and old soul strikes a cord with me. Enjoy!

Ain't Nothing Like Free Henny

2007-06-06T05:11:00.000-07:00

Last night I checked out the Fader/Henny party with my homie J. It was hosted in the meatpacking district and as usual was full of drunkeness and hilarity. Ran into a couple old friends like Derrick who I haven't seen in ages and Brook who assigned me my first freelance writing gig when i first moved to New York. By 11:00 I'd had enough though so i got my drunk ass on the train and went home. It's funny sometimes the characters you run across here. Most harmless enough and some quite fucking hilarious. Met a dude who said he was getting kicked out of his apartment the next day in court and in the same breath asked me for my number. Interesting. And bold. Anyway, I'm paying for all the Henny now and my only thought is getting home and sitting on my couch doing absolutely nothing. I'm on the count down now with my trip to vegas and my subsequent trip home. At the very least it gives me something to look forward to...

J said this rooster was good luck so I'm posting up...shit i can use all the help I can get!

I Wish I Gave A Shit But I Don't

2007-06-05T13:59:00.000-07:00

Sad but true. My boss completely spazzed out on me for the upteenth time and I had the most wonderful epiphany. I wasn't happy, I wasn't sad. I simply didn't give a shit! It was such a refreshing feeling of peace. I came back from lunch thirty minutes late and he almost had a heart attack. The way he came at me I thought maybe my ass embezzled some company funds in my sleep or something. I suppressed a weird "what the fuck" look and simply said "ok". "Don't get an attitude with me" he screamed. I wish I could get an attitude since maybe that would mean I actually gave a shit but alas... Do I like my job? Hell Yea! Will I subject myself to countless days of walking on egg shells and feeling bad about the little things that in the big scheme of things don't even register on my "Give-O-Shit" meter? Hell no! And I refuse to apologize for it. Why should I? I can handle my consequences and repercussions like the best of'em. I've become quite good at it actually and if I had it all to do over... well you get the picture.

It's all fun and games until...

2007-05-31T05:25:00.000-07:00

I'd say it takes a determinable amount of time to figure people out. You think you know someone and then BAM! they do something that ultimately shocks the shit out of you...especially in the beginning. I had date number four with this bright, young doctor who in every way seemed pretty dreamy. Cute, professional, humorous...you know all the things you look for. Somehow we got on the discussion of religion and before long I found myself playing devils advocate asking things i already knew the answer to just to see where he was coming from. Somewhere in the midst of it all i realized that for this guy to be pretty amazing on so many different levels the one i needed him to be just wasn't happening. If nothing else, I require an open mind about life in general. How else should you take on this earthly hell. I mean we're sitting at the bar and I'm contemplating what, if anything, should happen next when all these opinions and judgements about everything from homosexuality (that's wrong for men but ok for women apparently) to Jesus starts flying out of his mouth piece all followed by the statement "i'm not judging though". Of course your not homie and I'm just not into you. Everything is fine and dandy when you don't ask questions but the minute you do your sure to find that its all fun and games until some teeth are missing and you find yourself sitting on curb wondering what the fuck just happened.

Summertime In The City

2007-05-29T08:05:00.001-07:00

Barbecues and house parties. Low cut shorts and laughter on the front stoop. Who could ask for anything more...

You Only Want What You Cant Have

2007-05-29T07:40:00.001-07:00

May years after my first love an I had evolved into subsequent close friends he asked me a question that even as I think of it now still resonates strongly with me. He asked "why settle for less, when you know you deserve better?"

Good question, right?

I guess settling is subjective when you really think about it but the very basis of the question still rings true. Why settle for something, anything less than what your standards deem worthy. On one hand I think it is completely acceptable to have a goal/vision/dream and go for it but what happens when said goal/vision/dream isn't good for or to you. Does your "want" cancel out the reality of the situation. I'm a Scorpio and in being so I live my life entirely based on how it makes me feel. Not if its morally acceptable, legally required or contractually binding. None of that shit matters to me. Only how I feel. So in the end I'm forced to make a huge sacrifice... I'm basically saying eff whats better, give me what the hell i asked for. In living life through how i feel, settling for less when I know I deserve better, becomes moot doesn't it?

It behooves me to find someone in the penitentiary for murder with such a philosophical view on life...

I want the bright lights and big city dreams, a man faithful like a preist, built like a basketball player and with the mind of a comedic genuis who'll give me lots of babies and still treat me like the princess that I am without giving up so much as an ounce of his manhood or pride. I want the corner office with two inch thick carpet, a desk made of brazillian mahogany wood and a view that'll make you cry. I want three homes, one in the hollywood hills, one in manhattan and one on acres of land in Texas. I want a nanny for my babies, a maid for my houses and a G5 to fly me where ever i want to go...

What do I have?

It's good. But it ain't that good.

Am I settling?