Dreading The Inevitable

This past weekend was one of relative ease and monolithic reflection. I know it sounds all deep and shit but the only thing that line means is I spent my entire weekend doing absolutely nothing and on top of that my cable was on the fritz for the better part of Saturday & Sunday so I had the opportunity to sit and meditate on many things. I know this probably doesn't serve as an adequate explanation for those of you I flaked out on (Sorry Sal & Chris & J & Spec) but alas this is my blog and if I can't be honest here then where the hell can I? Saturday was pretty much a wash as my intentions started out good with plans to go by Chris's barbecue in the park earlier in the day then in the evening shoot down to Sal's for a little R&R. Needless to say I never made it. In fact I never made it further than my living room couch or the kitchen rather. I guess if I wanted to blame anyone I'd blame Hanan since he came back with the best killer ever and well...we all know of that vicious cycle. Sunday I did, at least, do laundry which was much needed.

A couple of things that came to me during my monolithic reflection was that I seriously think one of my good friends is gay. I was having this conversation with a mutual friend of ours and the more I sat my sofa and contemplated the more sense I made of everything. I've always thought something wasn't right with him but my gaydar never went off until about a month a go. Something in the way he said "he's a bad boy" just didn't seem right and that's when I started looking at him through the corner of my eye. He didn't say it nearly strong enough to pull off the fact that he was calling another man "a bad boy". It all sounded very 'how you doin?' if you know what I mean. Then, what took the cake was that his girlfriend, who also happens to be a friend of mine said she believed he was too! Oh, you could've bought my ass for a dollar cause although I'd never tell her, she basically confirmed everything I had discussed just he day or two before. So after getting my Sherlock Holmes on I sat in deep thought about the whole situation. What do you do, as a friend, knowing your friend is hiding in that perverbial closet? Does this make him a down low brother? I can't stand they greedy asses either but still... I pretty much came up with "do nothing". Either that or I just fell asleep thinking about it. It was probably the latter but hey, it works for me.

So last night, I also got bullied into attending a fundraiser dinner for Hilary Clinton that's going on next Sunday. My boss pretty much said I absolutely must go. So now I've been roped into spending Sunday night with a bunch a folks I couldn't care less about. The ironic part is that I don't even plan on voting for Hilary. I'm giving my vote to Barack Obama yet my boss says he doesn't give a shit, he just needs ten people to sit at his table. Ahhhh, politics don't you love'em!

On another note, this morning while getting dressed for work I heard a small squeaking sound in my living room. I set glue traps late last week when I saw a mouse run against the wall behind my television. That fucked me up! I think I got his ass though but my ass was too chicken to look so I left my apartment knowing pretty much there's a damn mouse trapped in my living room. I couldn't stomach seeing that shit. It would've been with me all day. So instead I'm dreading the inevitable. I mean, at some point I've got to face him, right? I'll tell you though I'm not looking forward to it. At all.

Oddly enough, in many ways that situation is much like my romantic relationship with a certain individual. We haven't been on the best of terms here lately and I've been dancing around the fact that I just don't feel the same. The mouse glued to the trap signifies our relationship and the fact that I can't ignore it forever. I realized over the weekend at some point I've got to face it and break it off. I'm so over it but for some reason I'm reluctant to tell the cat to get lost. Why is it that we dread the inevitable even when its likely to be a good thing in the end?