Sunday, October 26, 2008

We all have a sob story to tell...

Often times life pushes us into certain situations and mind frames that are totally condusive to/for the perfect atmosphere of conducting a genuine and vital self-evaluation and reflection and it is in these under appreciated moments that one can learn the most about themselves, rest their spirit with complete peace of mind and bring to focus issues that might not have otherwise come to head.

Life is funny that way, ya know. I realized a long time ago that there are no absolutes and your life can change at a moments notice. I've since learned to enjoy my life exactly for what it is and not to waste not even a moment on the things that may seem negative. For in the end I believe that everything happens for a reason and that reason, even if blind to me now, is for the greater good of all parties involved.

I guess I say all of this to say even though my life may not be exactly as I thought it would be at this stage in my life, I'd much rather have the very hand that I'm playing than to trade it up or down for someone elses mess.

Ase!!!

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Why settle for less when you know you deserve better?

Rationality is a commitment to the facts — an inviolable willingness to face reality, no matter how painful, frightening, or unpleasant the truth may be in a specific case. And rationality means never placing any consideration above one’s honest grasp of the facts.

I just finished reading Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged. And even though it's a pretty hefty read I have to admit it held my attention for the most part, though not as intently as Leo Tolstoy's War & Peace held me in its grasp. At the very root of the plot lies Mrs. Rand's basis for Objectivism which is the philosophy that preaches in essence, the concept of man as a heroic being, with his own happiness as the moral purpose of his life, with productive achievement as his noblest activity, and reason as his only absolute. -Her words not mine.

Hmmmmm.... I have to admit that the thought sounds intriguing, if even a bit selfish. My mama used to always say that she knew with certainity that I deserved to be happy which I think lies at the very foundation of Ayn Rand's Objectivism. She believed that the proper moral purpose of one's life is the pursuit of one's own happiness or rational self-interest.

Amen to that. I'm on my objectivism ish these days...reminds me of something my first love once asked me...why settle for less, when you know you deserve better?

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Ain't It The Truth


I decided last week that this week would be the start of a renewed since of urgency and approachment in regards to my job search. I revised my resume and came up with a creative and unique cover letter. I also made me an appointment to have my hair straigtened and my nails done. I submitted approximately ten or fifteen resume's and have about four call backs three of which landed in interviews for possible gigs. I say possible because the interviews are with recruiting firms. That seems to be the agent of choice for would be employers these days.

I made a point to only show interested in jobs that I might actually wanna go to for the most part and that made the most since financially. It's been two months now and I figure Summer's winding down it's time to get it poppin again.



And so, easy, breezy like this view from the balcony on my trip to Aruba I feel good about the possibilities.

On another note, i've been thinking of volunteering for the Obama campain. I surely don't have any money to give. Hell, it's hard enough paying bills less known donations. But time? that I got. Plenty of it in fact. At least right now I do. Hopefully that'll change soon though.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008



The pressure of survival in the big city will make you lose sight of your dream...hang in there. - De La Vega




It's taken me a while but I've finally lost my 'writer's procrastination' and suddenly after months of silence the characters in my head have started speaking again, all vying for room in the que of my creative space so whenever i'm writing it pours out like rain onto the page. For a while it was as though I didn't have the patience to write anything more than journal entries. I'd sit in front of the laptop, curser blinking, page blank. For the first three months of the year I rarely found the energy to even pick up the lap top. I was much more inclined to pick up my coloring books and color for hours as I sat on my sofa and simultaneously watched reruns of Flavor of Love and Project Runway. Don't laugh, there's something very therapudic about coloring. Ask my cousin Lawanna or her granddaughter Zaria, they'll tell you.

I slid back into writing as easily and effortlessly as I left it. One night I reached for my coloring box and a character from the new book I'm working on said 'not tonight...it's my turn'. I obliged and a month down the line I'm still in this mode. It's a wonderful feeling to be back. New York City has away of putting and then keeping you on the grind for extended periods of time and unfortunately when you put all your energy towards capitalistic gain you most often sacrifice any creative outlets that could use the energy. As it now seems the universe is pulling for me to write, my circumstances are becoming ever more conducive to a creative frame of mind. Thank goodness!


On another note... Isn't it nice when you run into people you haven't seen in ages. A friend of mine who has written numerous books including the one to the right was recently in Harlem and I had the pleasure of giving him a surprise visit. It's been years since I've seen or talked to him and so I briefly thought that he could have possibly forgotten me. Gladly, I was wrong. Our reunion was full of big smiles, tight hugs and keep in touches. Michael Eric Dyson is one of those rare individuals who has the ability to remain relevant to both young and old, educated and not. He's truly anointed with the gift of speak! I've yet to read his book but plan on taking it with me to Aruba to read as I lay out on it's beautiful beaches!

Friday, May 9, 2008

I Feel Like....

Strange dreams of you it seems,
Leaves me finding beauty in the smallest of things...

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Succumbing to My Reality


Yesterday, on my way from the doctors office at 35th and Park I walked right past one of the many Sean Bell demonstrations going on in the city. At first I was confused as to what was going on but I soon saw the many "stop the violence" and "no justice, no peace" signs and knew exactly what was going on. I wanted to go over and join them or see things up close and personal at the very least but my lunch hour had already been taken and I couldn't account for taking any longer. The revolutionist in me had to bow to its capitalist side and I hopped in a cab and got back to work. So sad but true.

*photo courtesey of bossip.com

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

They Say Hind Sight Is 20/20

My mama used to always say 'you never know what'll happen in the next twenty minutes'. This always came on the heels of a negative occurrence and it was her kind and gentle way of saying "that's life, kiddo. Deal with it!". Hind sight is 20/20 and now I know precisely what she meant. Life in all its inevitable-ness is filled with interruptions and complications and the grand benefit to all of this change is simply that...meaning whatever you're experiencing always remember that yes, this too, shall pass. Good for us that the change could just as easily be good for us as it can be bad. It's was Barack Obama calls the audacity of hope. Something my mama was filled to the brim with.

So the other day one of my best sweety pies on the planet, Corren, came by the office around quitting time and we both walked in the same direction...she to her friend who owns a recording studio and me to get my nails done. After small talk I was invited to the studio after my appointment and since it was in such close proximity to where I was going anyway I obliged. Once I get there it wasn't twenty minutes before I see an old friend. One who i was not neccessarily estranged from but one I definitely wasn't on constant speaking terms with. Long story short, my mama's words popped right into my head. For what its worth, I didn't mind seeing him but I was completely fine not seeing him. Since we never really figured out exactly what our connection entailed we somehow scraped past having too, leaving, what they call, an 800 pound gorrilla in the room whenever we linked. Eventually the gorilla just got too damn big for us to occupy the same time space continuum and our time together became more effort than either of us afforded to it. Waking up that day, seeing him was pretty much one of the last things I'd expected to do...but damn if it didn't feel nice. You never know what'll happen in the next twenty minutes...true indeed!


On another note, I came across this crazy video of this chick going hard on some random old lady on the train. It's rather sad to watch but it's like they say... the same things that make you laugh can make you cry.


Also, last night Barack Obama won the North Carolina Primaries! A perverbial fire has been set under my political enthusiasm and I'm greatly interested in finding out how all of this will play out.

On another note, my heart and prayers go out to all the people of Myanmar who fell victim to the Cyclone that has reaped unimaginable loss!

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Girl Please!!!

Today I'm launching my first-ever installment of GIRL PLEASE. From time to time I may come up with a list of characters, opinions, and ever encompassing outlandish-ness for yours, but more specifically my, entertainment. Welcome to the circus!!!


Girl Please! Case No. 1

’ She says she’s had therapy because inside her flamboyant outbursts is a scared deserted child and: ‘What I hate is people who, because you are in the public eye, try to take advantage of you, blackmail you. Unfortunately what happens is that lawyers become your best friend . . . What has been written about me is out of the hemisphere. Just wrong . . . I don’t care if they call me a bitch. A bitch is someone defending their rights . . . I’m a fighter.’ But ‘I’ve learned to meditate, to give myself some breaks during the day. I’ve rediscovered my good humor.


It’s clear that Naomi definitely needs to learn how to chill the hell out. May we suggest aromatherapy or purchasing a new weave to cover that raggedy-ass hairline?

**Photo & Funny Quote Courtesy of Bossip.com - I love this website

_________________________________________________


Girl Please!! Case No. 2

So it's lunch time at my office and I'm starving so I heat up the left overs I brought in from dinner last night - baked chicken, cabbage & sausage, mac & cheese, and white rice when (you didn't need to know that part, just thought I'd show off my cooking skills) when one of my associates from the office says "you know, your not supposed to heat up food in plastic containers when you're using the microwave". I explained that maybe that was the case but at times I was just too lazy to put my food in a "microwave safe" dish...hell, i'm not even sure I own a microwave safe dish. And there was no way I was about to throw away my lunch! Now, I'd heard this some time ago or maybe read it in an email somewhere about how microwave plastics release something called dioxins that can cause breast cancer but for some reason when my associate said something about it this afternoon...something didn't ring true so I decided to get my inspector gadget on and investigate further. Turns out it's a urban legend....

WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOW
The claim that plastic food wraps and containers can release dioxins in the microwave oven is misleading. First, the vast majority of plastics used in food wraps and packaging containers do not contain the chemical constituents that can form dioxins. Second, dioxins are a family of compounds that are produced by combustion at high temperatures. They can only be formed during combustion at temperatures typically above 700 degrees Fahrenheit. In other words, even if all of the constituents were present, you also would need to have a very hot fire in your microwave oven, in which case you probably wouldn’t eat the food anyway.

________________________________________________
Girl Please!! Case No. 3



Need I say more...

**Photo Courtesy of SandraRose.com - I love this website too!

Monday, April 21, 2008

Riff Raff, Bafoonery, and Plain Old Entertainment


I'll be the first to admit that something about this man's wife urks the hell outta me. I'll also be the first to say that I'll definitely be one of the first to buy his album. As annoying as he is his talent is, indeed, undeniable.

So the word is tonight Khia will be eliminated from the VH1 reality series Miss Rap Supreme. She had a long rant on AllHipHop.com today about how it was all a ploy for publicity. If you say so...Khia, girl, you a trip but I ain't mad at your new single.

I can not tell a lie, shits hot!

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

When The Going Gets Tough...Get Your Ass Out The Way



Mood: Slightly More Optimistic Than Yesterday

As the weather warms so does my spirits! Seems each day it gets a little warmer and I notice more and more trees blossoming and suddenly the possibilities seem quite intriguing.

Last night Fa invited me to go to Butter with her. If you don't know Butter is THE place to be on Monday nights. You'll find everybody from Diddy to Jay Z partying it up at Butter on Monday nights and my ass fell asleep on the sofa and didn't wake up until well after I cared to give a shit about going. Fa is this chick i met awhile ago at the club and she seems cool enough though we haven't really hung out since then. Hopefully we'll make that happen. It's not everyday you meet people on your level that you can actually stand long enough to kick it with. Perhaps next Monday i'll roll through with her. Ain't nothing like a scene to get the juices flowing!

Monday, April 14, 2008

All Along The Watchtower



Mood: Borderline Moody/Melancholy

There must be some kind of way out of here
Said the joker to the thief
There's too much confusion
I can't get no relief


This picture of my cousin Zaria speaks volumes to me!!




I woke up this morning in a fairly placid state of mind. I peeked at the morning sky from my warm, comfortable bed and was pleased to find the sky a bright blue, the sun shining bright. Unfortunately, something happened between me actually rising from my bed and me taking that first step outside my front door. A mood begin to set in and I begin laboring over things that I have no control over. A helplessness set in and by the time I'd reached the door to my job I was out and out displeased with my life. Not sure why I felt that way as nothing has happened to warrant even the slightest inkling of that feeling. I wonder how the stars and moon are aligning today...somethings got to be up. I'm not my normally disgusting happy self today. Thank goodness I have Jimi Hendrix to get me through.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Miami Baby!


When i tell you that Miami was the bomb, please believe me! Me and my girls decided to take a long weekend and get out of the city to relax and decompress. We arrived on a Thursday night and didn't really stop partying til the following Monday. As soon as our feet touched ground I could feel the warm air engulf my body and immediately it felt like it was party time. I'd told my cuz Brandon that I'd be down for the weekend and so he and his girlfriend made the short trip south to hang out themselves as see me! It seems I never get to see him anymore since he lives in Florida and I in New York but we made it work!

Our nights consisted of lots of drinking and dancing and a celebration of some sort until sunrise. And each day we'd hang out by the ocean or by some random pool. Like the rooftop at the Gansevoort which has a beautiful 360 degree view of the beach.

Spending time in Miami reminds me of the Kanye song "Maaannn, why can't life always be this easy!"
Check out some of the pictures from our crazy weekend here...

Miami!!!!!


As you can tell from the pictures, we pretty much left no stone unturned and paid visits to Mansion, Sweet, Step, Love & Hate, The Delano Hotel and the Gansevoort Hotel Rooftop. We had dinner at the famous Prime112 and the infamous China Grill as well as had brunch at the Raleigh! I met a ton of people that were really cool and we have decided that this must be a trip we take every few months or so.

I know this sounds pretensions but if you've never been to Miami you absolutely must go!

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

When Room Service Gets Wack

It seems as if time is playing that same old dirty trick where it passes by without effort and springs up on your ass like 'noon to a drunkard'...sudden than a muthafucka! Here we are damn near in April and it it feels like just yesterday I was bringing the new year in. Fortunately, with the passing of the time comes the passing of the seasons and for New York that means that the cold weather is being forced out daily though it's still brick here. Back home Dallas my family tells me of 75 degree days while i spend mine wrapped in my winter coat like its Christmas time again. Fortunately, New Yorkers are resilliant creatures. They don't care if its three feet of snow on the ground, the city keeps on moving along.

I can say that since day light saving kicked in my appetite for partying has grown. It used to be that when I got off work 6pm it was completely dark. Now I can make it all the way home before the street lights kick on which lets me know that Spring is right around the corner.

Last night I went to Room Service. Village will be hosting Sunday nights there officially starting in April and for what it's worth it's actually a pretty cool spot. Great design, banging sound system and just big enough to where its not over bearing. I wasn't going to go but in the end felt like it was as good a night to party as any. Saw some of the regulars of course and suprisingly J. appeared out of nowhere. I hadn't seen him in a couple months and was pleasantly surpised to find him there. It was Rocko's album release party. You know the cat that sings "Ummma Do Meeee!!!". I saw a coule of Diddy's Day 26 memebers in there as well. I heard Jermain Dupri was there as well but I never saw him. Anyway, i woke up this morning feeling relatively normal since I didn't really drink at all and tried to take it in early. if you can count 3am as early.

I did speak to one of my best girlfriend's in the world, Ebony. I hadn't spoke to her in a while so it felt good catching up with her crazy ass as usual. On another note, I've started writing again. A new novel. And I'm extremely excited about the possibilities.

Monday, February 25, 2008

My Night At the Smiranoff Signature Series Event


The homie Jay hooked it up again and got me on the list for the Smiranoff Signature Series Party last night with Q-Tip, Common & KRS-1 along with Dre from Cool & Dre, Just Blaze and DJ Premier. It was at this spot called Element on the lower east side, two floors, pretty cool for a show as it has a stage and a pretty good sound system. Just so happens I get a call from Dave Lighty asking whats going on for the night and since he's on the guest list as well (you couldn't buy your way into this joint for the most part) we decided to meet there. Good thing too as the people on the regular guest list were not allowed to enter the venue until 7pm and did not have access to the upstairs VIP area. Me walking in with Dave allowed me to receive one of those coveted red bracelets that gave you autonomy to roam freely.

The first person I see walking in is Sway of MTV fame. Very personable guy. He was the show host and I appreciated the fact that he actually spoke to me as if he knew me which is always cool. I hate when lames act all Hollywood. As we walked across the dance floor to the nearest bar, which had all the free Smironoff you could want, I saw Jonny Nunez, which many people wouldn't know by face but I'm sure you've gazed at more than one of his photographs of celebrities mainly hip hop celebrities. I always see him out but for some reason we never really acknowledge that fact. I guess that's a New York thing.

While at the bar waiting on a drink who walks right up next me? Consequence of Kanye's label GOOD Music. The interesting thing about seeing him is that we actually had words, though very few, at this Usher party last year. This was before Don't Quit Your Day Job actually dropped but not long after The Cons Vol 3 - Da Come Back Kid was released. Anywho, at the time I was really feeling that mixtape so I said something to that effect to which he graciously thanked me. This time though, I didn't say anything but I did catch something in his face that saw something familiar in mine. Once again, that new york thing... And just to add my 2 cents, I wasn't really feeling DQYDJ. Something was missing from what I found so infectuous on the mixtape. I guess if you can't say something nice...

So after getting a not so tasty concoction of the Blueberry Smironoff and lemonade mix drink that was inspired by Q-Tip it was upstairs to the VIP area. We sat directly next to Dre's table. Dave actually knew him so fifteen minutes into sitting there we were all smoking together. He's cuter in person. Most times I see him in videos or on tv he looks kinda droopy in the face. You know, the sleepy eye look. But in person not so much.

Before long Sway stepped on stage and introduced Q-Tip. Donning an old school black and gold addidas suit Tip looked and sounded like he was in good form. It was good seeing him perform as I haven't really whitnessed him doing anything other than DJing as of late.

Next up was Common. I havn't seen Common perform in a long ass time. It's easily been a couple years. And I was reminded of how great a performer this man is. And how fine! Of course he did the favorites and did a dope freestyle to end it all. I have to make sure I make a point to see him the next time he comes to the city to perform.

Lastly, came KRS -1 whom I'm not ashamed to say I don't really know. I was born and raised in Texas and if i never felt like a New Yorker, it was last night when this man hit the stage. Cats was madd hype to see him. Old heads, young heads, everybody. Although, I know the choruses to songs like South Bronx and Criminal Minded the only song I could probably recite is Self Destruction....Obviously, he didn't do that song.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Fucking Around With The Roots All Day








Dice Raw, Me, And Black Thought @ The video shoot for 75 Bars/Get Busy



Can I just say that both Dice and Thought were cool and laid back and the entire experience was memorable. I can't wait to see the video to see if I have a cameo appearance. Thought is absolutely grown and sexy in person. I also chatted with Quest and saw Kamal though i didn't have the opportunity to talk with him.

Monday, February 11, 2008

Surreal...For Real


"Last night I saw you in my dreams. Now I can't wait to go to sleep."

Ye gave this performance in rememberance/reverence of his mother and it struck a deep chord with me.

After watching this and going to bed I dreamed of my own mama.

How sweet it was...

Monday, February 4, 2008

When Life Comes At You Fast


I'm in a complete place of contentment today. I feel oddly at peace.






Interesting events that make you think...


Monday night I went to the Pink Elephant. I've never been and was pleasantly suprised at how nice it was. The New York Giants had there Super Bowl celebration there and the boys were definitely in the house pouring up Crystal like it wasn't funny. I swore I saw at least 10-15 bottles of that shit floating around at any given time. Confetti was flying, everybody was dancing, partying up like we'd all got a championship ring...it was actually a really fun night. The only way it could have been better is if my crush had showed up. Not that I would've done anything if he had. I realized that while football players are super fine but I'm not really attracted to them. Yet and still I appreciate the fitness.

So this past Saturday I hung out at my homegirl Corren's house. Donwizzle came through which is always cool. I hadn't seen his ass since I ran into him at the Pete Rock party a few months back. We ate, listened to music, smoked, drank...you get the idea. I like Brooklyn...it has its own soul. Whenever I'm there I feel like i'm trapped in an old common song...like my very own nag champa video. Erick ended up coming by as well although I think he was probably a bit dissapointed. I had not seen him in a month of sundays and the mood was akward and felt somewhat strange. I hate when that happens.

The primaries happened last night and voters in twenty-two states had the chance to choose who they would put into office. In the end Obama cameup trailing Hilary in electoral votes. The margin was a slim one and I think this solidifies Obama's presence even more. It would have been nice had he won though.

I had a training session this morning. For Gary to have worked me out so bad I actually feel good. quite rejuvenated and fit! Having a trainer is so expensive and prettty soon I'm going to have to figure out a way to supplement my income since I don't think I can keep paying as I go for much longer. Not for nothing, though, it still feels good getting my ass in shape.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

See, That's Your Problem...

Last night I joined a gym. A pretty fancy one too. My boss had been telling me that the company would pay for membership if I was interested and I finally got tired of procrastinating and joined last night. For those of you leaving in New York City, you know David Barton as catering to a gay crowd. I walked in last night with no idea on what to expect and found what looked like a club. There was a dj and the atmosphere screamed party hard. Well, party hard and I'm gay.

Setting myself up for the Okey Doke I scheduled a personal training session for eight oclock this morning. What in the hell was I thinking? I forgot even what the commute on the train was like at that hour. NY'ers are beast durning rush hour. I don't have to be at work until ten and by then its pretty much quiet on the train. These clowns on the train before them seem more like walking zombies than human beings. I almost had to cuss this chick out for sticking her bag in my back. Rude!

After the fact, the work out session was actually pretty cool. And if it weren't for the fact that them shits cost an arm and a leg I'd probably commit to seeing a trainer twice a week. Looks like I'll be taking the group classes instead.

This weekend VH1 is hosting an open call for a television show that centers around the contest to become Puffy's assistant. Why am I intrigued by this? I've almost convinced myself to go and try out...but i'm scared. Scared they may actually choose me that is. I have the coolest job as it is...I'd hate to have to choose.

What else?

This was a passage written by the comedian George Carlin. It struck home on many levels and I feel the need to share simply because it's the truth. And it's definitely worth the read.

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways , but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete...

Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.

Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.
Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.

Remember, to say, 'I love you' to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.

Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.

Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

If you don't send this to at least 8 people....Who cares?

George Carlin

Monday, January 28, 2008

Afflictions with Obsessions

I'd say this weekend passed effortlessly enough. I made plans but of course once it actually came down time to execute them I decided to do otherwise. I did go grocery shopping which only aided in my staying in for the two short days that is my time off from work and I must admit when i made the concious decision to stay in it felt strangely liberating.

Whilst at home I somehow became obsessed with watching the S. Carolina primaries. I was overjoyed that Barack Obama took it with such force and was literally on the edge of my seat while listening to him give his victory speech. I've taken the liberty of posting it up here in case any of you missed it. For the first time in, well, period I feel connected to the election process and hopeful that something other than self serving initiatives can take place from within it. It's was Barack calls the audacity of hope! I wanna attend a rally or some shit, get more into it all! I want to take part in this political revolution.

I find myself severly motivated by this man and his ideas...




So last night was the birthday party of one of the guys in the click that I sometimes go out with. I'd pretty much been phsyched to attend since i received the invite being that I think the guy is interesting and all but like so many other plans I had for the weekend, shit just fell through. I think this goes back to me not wanting to move forward in regards to my crush...shit I just like having one. In the end I just didn't feel like being bothered but in the spirit of keeping crushes alive, I'm posting up the new video for Honey.

Erykah Badu - Honey
The video has as much of an old school feel as the song itself and I love it! Check it out.



Man, I can't wait to get my tax return money!!

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Life is Full of Interuptions and Complications


Mental Tug-O-War...Bodies dancing closely yet not together. I felt like he placed himself there beside me...strategically. Or maybe sub-consiously for it was as if he appeared magically. Normally a reserved specimen, even in the club, he became animated for the slightest moment raising his arms in the club's haze filled air..."I got the baddest chick in the game wearing my chain!" I danced along side him feigning dis-interest. Why do I feel like a school girl around this man? Is he my crush...a moments fixation...a fleeting fantasy? At moments I clearly felt his gaze fall on my face and body. Seemingly outlining every inch he took in. Never as I watched him though. Not once did he allow me the chance to look deep into his eyes. For that is where I can see everything, that's where I would be able to tell, to see. Even as our glances passed over each other I could tell he made a consious effort to not give in to me regarding this. And this did nothing but heighten the feeling of wanting to know.

I almost prefer to leave it at this. I fear i'll not like him at all if I even attempt to get to know him. Not knowing keeps the dream alive so to speak, for life is full of interuptions and complications and whose to say this isn't exactly what that is.

There were other people there too, obviously. I saw those Making the Band boys. Oh and Danity Kane too who I must say looked somewhat busted. Especially that D Woods chick who seemed to be coupled up with Q, which is funny since I figured him to be gay since the first time I saw him. And Will that man is fine but even he was with some drunk dumpy looking girl. Go figure. The NY Giants were in the building as it was their celebration for making it to the Supebowl but since I don't follow football like that I couldn't tell you the Quaterback from the towel boy I won't even try to name names.

I love when nights go all perfect and shit.